Not even at the show, and we’ve already spotted our first piece of car-ass. We saw this Porsche 911 GT3 Hybrid in a parking garage on 34th St.
Tag Archives: 911
A Burst of News – Lexus LFA supercar revealed, new BMW 5-series spied, next-gen Mitsubishi Evo will be a hybrid, and more
Time for another burst of automotive news, everyone!
Our top story of this installment: after years and years and YEARS of teasing, Toyota has finally unveiled Lexus’s first supercar. Called the LFA, the supercar is a clean-sheet design with a front-mounted 4.8-liter V10 that spits out 552 horsepower and 354 lb-ft of torque. With the help of a six-speed sequential manual gearbox, Toyota claims the car dashes from 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds before topping out at 202 miles per hour.
If it sounds to you like the LFA will line up pretty squarely against the Ferrari 458 Italia, congratulations, you know enough about sports cars to make up for your Archie comics collection. However, there’s a catch – the Ferrari is significantly cheaper than Toyota’s latest ride. (And there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write.)
Yes, the LFA can be yours for not a Benjamin less than $375,000 – at least $100,000 than the 458 will likely cost here in the States. And while the Lexus is pretty cool, it’s hard to imagine many rich car enthusiasts would pick the uglier, more expensive LFA over the latest addition to Ferrari’s stable. Of course, most of them won’t have to – in this price range, if you can buy one, you can probably buy both.
But Toyota isn’t the only Japanese manufacturer with big performance news. According to AutoCar, the next-generation Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution will be powered by a plug-in hybrid powertrain similar to that of the company’s PX-MiEV concept from this year’s Tokyo Motor Show. The PX-MiEV, which sounds like a bad hand of Scrabble, has two electric motors powering all four wheels; a 1.6 liter four-cylinder engine pulls double-duty, both generating power for the battery and powering the front driveshaft.
Now, we here at CCO aren’t quite sure how Mitsubishi intends to pull this off. Even if they can drastically cut the Evo’s weight (which would be difficult to do while adding all the new tech), the car will still need at least 250 horsepower in order to maintain its performance credentials. But that’s 250 horsepower all the time. Not, 250 horsepower until the battery runs out of initial charge, then 100 horsepower while the gas motor recharges it. Then again, the next-gen Evo isn’t due until 2013, so they have time to sort it out.
Speaking of potentially stupid ideas, Porsche recently announced they would be willing to share both the Panamera and, more frighteningly, the 911 architecture with their new corporate masters, the Volkswagen Group. We’re not sure if this is Volkswagen exacting punishment for Porsche’s earlier attempt to conquer the VW Group (super-short refresher: Porsche AG tried to take over the VW group in 2007, but it fell through – so the VW group proceeded to take over Porsche, instead), but using the 911 platform for anything other than Porsche 911s just seems blasphemous.
Of course, it’s unlikely VW will ever use the 911’s underpinnings for anything else, since the demand for rear-engined sports cars is pretty slim. Porsche has only managed to perfect the form after 40-plus years of refinement; if it weren’t for the 911’s immense heritage, they likely would have dumped the car in favor of a bigger version of the mid-engined Boxster years ago. (That said, don’t be surprised to see the next-gen Boxster/Cayman sharing a platform with Audi’s R4 roadster…)
In other German car news, prototypes of BMW’s next-generation 5-series have been spotted prowling around Deutschland. Clad in BMW’s groovy camouflage designed to confuse camera lenses and attract aging hippies, the new 5 looks to us like a cross between the new 7-series and the most recent 3-series – which is probably what they were aiming for. Once the acid trip stickers wear off (hah!), expect a more conventionally attractive sedan than the current 5.
Expect the same inline six-cylinder engines from today’s lineup, but the 360-hp V8 of the current BMW 550i will be supplanted with the oh-so-sweet turbocharged 4.4-liter, 400-hp V8 from the 750i and X6. Rumor has it the next M5 will come with a similar turbocharged V8 pumping out around 550 horsepower, connected to a 7-speed dual clutch gearbox – and the line for that sonofabitch forms behind me, so stop cutting.
On the complete other end of the performance spectrum, Nissan pulled the wraps off the production version of their Leaf electric car last week at the Tokyo Auto Show. To dust off the old SAT-style analogy format, Leaf:Nissan::Volt:General Motors, and if you can’t figure that out, well, you probably shouldn’t be reading “College” Cars Online.
Nissan claims the Leaf offers all the convenience and range necessary to wean the majority of automobile users (at least those in First-World Countries – sorry, anybody who’s name ends in -stan) off the internal combustion engine. With a 100-mile range, 107 horsepower, a top speed of 87 mph and a pricetag of around $25,000, we’ll probably be seeing quite a few Leafs (Leaves?) on our roads soon.
Nissan claims recharging on a 200V outlet takes 8 hours, which is all kinds of helpful, considering pretty much every electrical appliance in the U.S. operates on either a 120V or 240V circuit. Figure around 8 hours on a heavy-duty 240V outlet, whereas if you’re plugging into the same 120V outlet your iPhone uses, you might as well just walk wherever you’re going.
I don’t really have any creative segue for this next story, since it sort of goes directly in opposition to the point of this site, so let’s just dive right in and avoid this awkward moment. According to the omnipresent J.D. Power and Associates, Generation Y doesn’t care as much about automobiles as they used to. After the Big Brother-ish group tracked thousands of conversations on Facebook and Twitter over an eight-month period (um, creepy), they determined teens and “early careerists” – 12-to-18-year-olds and 22-to-29-year-olds, respectively, because college students don’t matter – showed “shifts in perception regarding the necessity of and desire to have cars.”
The Power Co. goes on to posit that either the recession has left America’s youth with less cash to spend on cars, or that social media has replaced face-to-face interaction to such a degree we no longer feel the need to meet up in person as much. If number two is correct, then God help us all.
However, the survey does go on to point out the two most popular automotive topics on social media during that time were NASCAR and “Transformers: Rise Of The Fallen.” Please excuse me while I slam my head into a brick wall.
Finally, a moment of silence, please, for the passing of a legend. Land Rover has announced that after six decades on the market, the Defender will be retired in 2013. While the Defender proved itself capable of conquering the worst nature could throw at it, there was one foe it proved unable to defeat: government regulations.
Thanks to new European emissions and pedestrian-safety regulations, an all-new or heavily revised replacement will be required for the aging yet capable SUV. While the Defender hasn’t been sold in the U.S. for quite some time, your editor will always have fond memories of clambering up a seemingly impassible trail in the Vermont woods in a Defender 90.
However, Land Rover claims the replacement will be more versatile and more practical. If that means it’ll be just as capable and can come back to the States, well – the king is dead, long live the king!
(We apologize for the lateness of this posting. Unfortunately, it was a pretty hectic week here, as we were prepping for our move to a new space. However, we’re now settled into our new, better office, so we can bring you even more of the coverage you love! Or tolerate. Or hate. Just so long as you read it.)
For car enthusiasts, the Frankfurt Motor Show tends to be one of the more consequential events of the year. Not only does it segue nicely into Oktoberfest, but it’s usually home to dozens of palpitation-causing model revelations. (Though that might actually be caused by all that wurst.)
Blissfully, this year’s show was no exception, with quite a few exciting cars showing their front fascias (fasciae?) for the first time. Sadly, due to the sagging economy, we were unable to send any correspondents to Germany this year, but we’ve still prepared a recap of this year’s highlights for your viewing pleasure, divided up into appropriate categories.
2010 Aston Martin Rapide
After years of waiting and teasing, Aston Martin finally went public with all the details about its sleek sedan – or “four-door sports car,” as they prefer to call it. We don’t really care what they call it – so long as they let us stare at it. Thankfully, the sports car maker’s attempt at domestication hasn’t resulted in any loss of attractiveness; like a six-foot-three supermodel, all that extra length just means you have to look at it longer.
Motivation comes from the same 6.0 liter, 470-horsepower V12 motivating the DB9 on which it’s based, connected to a six-speed automatic. No word yet on whether Aston will see fit to bring out a more aggressive model based on the DBS at some point, but it wouldn’t be too surprising.
Pricing hasn’t been announced, but expect something in the $200,000 range – about $60-$100K more than its direct “competitors,” the Porsche Panamera Turbo and Mercedes-Benz CLS63 AMG. But odds are if you’re in the market for a six-figure sedan that performs like a supercar and prefer the looks of the Aston Martin, you can swing the difference.
2011 Bentley Mulsanne
After taking the wraps off its new flagship at the Pebble Beach Concours D’Elegance last month, Bentley officially unveiled the Mulsanne in all its glory at Frankfurt – and it’s pretty freakin’ glorious.
Power comes from a 6.75 liter turbocharged V8 (presumably the same basic one motivating Bentleys for half a century), putting out 505 horses and 725 lb-ft of torque. All that twist heads to the rear wheels via an eight-speed automatic – and no, there’s no good reason why a car with as much torque as a Mack truck needs eight forward speeds.
Bentley says the Mulsanne will also come with a variety of 21st century features, such as Bluetooth, sat-nav, MP3 player hookup, and a 6-disc CD changer. Of course, if all you wanted were those features and leather seats, you could save yourself in the range of $275,000 and buy a loaded Mazda3 – but where’s the fun in that?
2011 Rolls-Royce Ghost
If there’s a new Bentley, a new Rolls-Royce probably isn’t too far behind. (After all, Kanye and Fiddy can’t both be rolling in the same whips, can they?) However, the Ghost and the Mulsanne aren’t direct competitors – the big Bentley stacks up against the heftier Rolls-Royce Phantom, while the Ghost is a “discount” model aimed at the “cheap” Bentley Continental.
Of course, cheap is a relative term – the Rolls will retail for around $245,000 when it hits the States next year. Sure, that’s almost $75,000 more than the Conti, but that’s not too much to ask for a little brand loyalty, is it?
Like the Continental, the Ghost is also based on a less expensive vehicle from its corporate master’s stable. The Continental shares many of its unseen bits with the Volkswagen Phaeton luxury sedan (remember that car? Well, no one else does, either.); the Ghost, in turn, shares a platform with the new BMW 7-series. Motivation comes from a slightly uprated version of the BMW 760Li’s powertrain – the Roller pumps out 563 horsepower from a 6.0 liter turbocharged V12, through yet another eight-speed automatic. Prudent buyers will probably pick the far cheaper Bimmer…but Rolls-Royces have never been about prudence.
Bugatti 16 C Galibier
While the Galibier wasn’t actually featured at Frankfurt – it was unveiled at the company’s headquarters in Molsheim, France – it deserves inclusion in this list because of its mind-boggling magnificence.
The hatchback sedan concept looks more or less like the offspring of a Porsche Panamera and a Bugatti Veyron, and given its supercharged 8.0 liter W16 engine and all-wheel-drive, presumably performs that way as well.
While Bugatti officially has only said the Galibier is one of several concepts for the next Bugatti road car;however, AutoExpress claims it has been approved for production, and should start rolling out in 2013.
Should the Galibier go into production, expect around 800 horsepower, an eight-speed dual clutch gearbox and a pricetag of about $1,400,000 – meaning the average Goldman Sachs employee will have to save up slightly more than two whole years’ worth of bonuses to buy one.
2010 BMW X6 Active Hybrid
BMW dropped the production version of its high-end hybrid SUV at Frankfurt this year, which should be going on sale here soon.
The 2010 X6 ActiveHybrid (as opposed to the PassiveHybrid line, which mostly sits around in the driveway eating potato chips and watching The Bonnie Hunt Show) is strapped for performance, with two electric motors added onto its already hearty 4.4 liter turbocharged V8. BMW quotes total combined output at 480 horsepower and 575 lb-ft of torque – not too far from the balls-to-the-wall X6 M. However, the X6 M can’t claim to travel at up to 37 mph without using a drop of gasoline, unless it’s being pushed by a T.rex.
BMW says the hybrid X6 does 0-60 in 5.4 seconds and tops out at 130 mph, while still using 20 percent less gas than the regular V8 model. If they deliver on these promises without hurting the X6’s playful performance characteristics or jacking the price up too much, I doubt anyone will want to buy the regular old X6 xDrive 50i.
Mercedes-Benz Vision S500 Plug-In HYBRID concept
Equipped with the sort of obscenely long name currently in favor with German luxury automakers, the plug-in S500 remains merely a concept – for the moment. Mercedes-Benz engineers say the technology is being prepped for production sometime in the near future.
The S500 Plug-In doesn’t operate quite like the famous Chevy Volt; in the Benz, the gasoline engine still powers the wheels directly, instead of simply recharging the battery. Still, by plugging the battery into an outlet, it can store up enough juice to run the S-class for a whopping 19 miles before the 3.5 liter V6 kicks in.
Mercedes estimates combined fuel economy at 74 miles per gallon, though as with many hybrids today, eking that out could prove harder than squeezing sanity from Glenn Beck. Still, if a production model can achieve even 50 mpg while still cranking out a 5.5 second 0-60 time, Mercedes will have a winner on its hands. (But can we get at least 30 miles out of that battery, guys?)
LEAN, GREEN, FAST MACHINES:
Do you like the Audi R8, but want to take the metaphorical Beano and say goodbye to gas? Then feast your eyes on the electric-powered e-tron concept, based off Audi’s sweet supercar.
According to Audi, the concept packs four electric motors punching out 313 horsepower and an unfathomable 3,319 lb-ft of torque. Of course, you can’t use all that twist at once – it would probably send the wheels flying across the continent – but it sounds cool. Audi also claims a 4.8 second 0-60 time, a top speed of 124 mph and a range of 154 miles…but not if you’re going 124 mph.
Of course, those figures are pretty academic, as Audi hasn’t announced any definite production plans for the e-tron. Of course, if Mercedes-Benz’s electric-drive SLS proves successful, don’t be surprised to see an electric R8 sailing silently past the gas pumps within four years.
BMW Vision Efficient Dynamics Concept
Not content to just slap an electric motor in a pre-exising car, BMW instead toted out a brand-new concept designed to showcase what a fuel-efficient supercar of the near future could look like.
According to BMW, the ED (snicker) gets its power from the unification of a 163-hp, 1.5-liter turbodiesel and a pair of electric motors, creating a maximum output of 356 horsepower and 590 lb-ft of torque. Lightweight design (is that why there are no doors?) helps the ED scoot to 60 in 4.8 seconds, while achieving the usual Bimmer top speed of 155 mph.
Fuel economy is reportedly estimated at 63 mpg, with 31 miles of electric-only driving possible. While a production version is pretty unlikely, some of the fuel-saving technology seen here will probably show up on the rumored “Z10” supercar that’ll hopefully be coming our way in a couple of years; however, that car will reportedly run a twin-turbo 3.0 liter inline six making 450 horsepower (awesome).
Ferrari 458 Italia
We’ve featured the Italia here on the site several times before, but since it was officially revealed at Frankfurt, it only seemed appropriate to look at it one more time.
Replacement for the F430 and heir to Ferrari’s long line of mid-engined V8 sports cars, the 458’s 4.5 liter V8 makes 570 horsepower and 398 lb-ft of torque, and sends it to the rear wheels through a seven-speed dual-clutch gearbox. 0-60 comes in 3.4 seconds (probably less – Ferrari tends to be conservative), top speed is 202 mph, and combined fuel economy on the European cycle comes to 18 mpg. Pricing hasn’t been announced, but if you go into your Ferrari dealership with $300,000 in cash, you’ll probably be able to buy a baseball cap or two as well.
Lamborghini Reventon Roadster
Likewise, the Reventon is no stranger to this site (it’s the car in our headline banner), but it’s always worth taking another look at – especially when a new version comes out.
Mechanically and physically, the roadster is pretty much the same as the coupe – 6.5 liter V12, 660 horses, 487 lb-ft of torque, six-speed sequential manual transmission, outlandishly gorgeous styling. The only real difference is the lack of a top and the increased rarity – Lambo will be making a mere 15 roadsters, as opposed to a bountiful production run of 20 for the coupe. As Lamborghini itself proudly boasts, the odds of owning a Reventon Roadster are 1 in 700 million; however, at $1.6 million a pop, the odds of getting laid in the passenger’s seat are about 1 in 2.
Again, we’ve already shown you the SLS here on CCO, but since it too received a public unveiling at Frankfurt, we thought we’d take another look at it (even though it hurts our eyes to do so).
Packing a 571-horsepower version of AMG’s 6.3 liter V8 running through a seven-speed transmission, the SLS blasts from 0 to 60 in 3.8 seconds and tops out at 197 mph. When it goes on sale sometime next year, expect to pay around $175,000 before any options – slotting it neatly between the Audi R8/Porsche 911 Turbo and the Lamborghini Gallardo/Ferrari 458 Italia.
Reportedly, the SLS is a blast to drive, capable of holding its own with any of the aforementioned competitors; hopefully the looks improve in person, as well, because it really doesn’t look too good in those pictures. But at the very least when you’re inside, you won’t have to look at the car’s ass…
GETTING BETTER ALL THE TIME:
Now, at first, you might wonder why Mini would be building these cars. After all, doesn’t the Mini already only have two doors…and isn’t there already a convertible?
However, you would be thinking rationally. If so, you’re not who Mini’s looking for for these two. Go buy a Clubman. No, these are for the drivers who take their Minis to the max.
[Ed: Really? Are you kidding me? That’s the best you can do?]
Shut up, Ed. You try writing this on seven Red Bulls. Anyway, the Mini Coupe will reportedly hit the streets with the turbocharged 208-hp 1.6 liter inline-four from the John Cooper Works Mini, while the Roadster plays it a bit lighter with a 175-horsepower 1.6 liter turbo four. You should be able to buy them in early 2011.
2010 Porsche 911
Ah, 911. Tragic connotations aside, those numbers will always have a special meaning for car enthusiasts. For more than 40 years, the penultimate rear-engine sports car has been undergoing constant evolution, and this year’s Frankfurt Motor Show gave Porsche a chance to show off their latest subspecies. Both cost about the same, and both share an engine – but they’re aimed at different people, for sure.
For those who only feel alive on a racetrack, there’s the 911 GT3 RS, a 450-horsepower naturally aspirated race-ready RWD machine that’s so plugged into you, you’d swear it has one of those neck plugs from The Matrix. 0 to 60 in 3.8 seconds, top speed 194 mph, and a price of $132,800.
But if you need something you can drive to work every day, the new 911 Turbo offers a turbocharged 500 horsepower 3.8 liter flat six. All-wheel-drive means improved traction in all conditions, and there’s even a new seven-speed dual-clutch transmission for those too lazy to row the gears themselves. 60 mph comes in a stunning 3.2 seconds, and top speed is 194 mph as well. The coupe also starts at $132,800, while the convertible starts at $143,800.
And Porsche, if you’re reading this, we’d kill for a Turbo Coupe for a week…
BMW 5-series GT
Wrapping things up for our Frankfurt Show coverage is BMW’s wagonoid, the 5-series GT. Not as roomy as a station wagon…not as tall as an SUV…and not as svelte as a sedan, this hatchagon sacrifices the bitch seat in back to offer prime seating for four. In addition, the rear hatch can open in two ways – the trunk lid alone can open, or the whole hatch can go up, too.
The GT comes in 535 and 550 forms, offering a 306-hp twin turbo 3.0 liter I6 in the former and a 407-hp 4.4 liter twin-turbo V8 in the latter. An eight-speed auto provides the motivation; rear wheel drive is standard, AWD optional. And while it may seem a bit odd in pictures, we’re willing to bet it’ll prove a surprisingly convenient all-weather all-task vehicle.
So, BMW, if you want to throw a 550 GT our way too, that’d be great.
We’ll have a comprehensive piece in a few days summarizing and analyzing the 2009 NYIAS, but in the meantime, content yourself with our raw notes from the Javits floor. We’re goin’ gonzo!
Mercedes-Benz, 9:30 a.m. Little sign of the recession here. Look, a $545,000 Mercedes-Benz SLR 722 convertible! A $300,000 SL65 Black Series on a goddamn pedestal! Thankfully, the espresso bar is still there. Also, a live jazz band stage-side. The pianist’s playing a Steinway. Heh. Pianist.
Mercedes always has the best countdowns – giant chrome numbers ticking off on the screen above the stage, flying by to a bombastic orchestral soundtrack via tachycardia-inducing subwoofers.
And here we go! The theme: “Road To The Future.” Is it in the sky?
And the first new car is…the ML450 Hybrid SUV. Their first full hybrid – Prius style! Developed exclusively for the U.S. and Canada. We’re special. Hmm, 335 horsepower, 381 lb/ft, and 21 city/24 highway. This actually doesn’t sound so bad.
Also an updated GL-class. And the new E-class!
Ooh, here’s Grammy-winning jazz singer Dianne Reeves to sing a new song “dedicated to the launch of the new E-class!” What a good use of cash reserves in these lean times – a famous vocalist! What, they couldn’t get Billy Joel?
“Better than anything except being in love,” goes the song. So…we’re not going to fall in love with this car?
E320 Bluetec diesel makes 23 city/32 highway, along with 210 hp and 400 lb/ft of torque. Sweet. Why can’t Ford put an engine like this in an F-150?
The E-class coupe is “the most aerodynamic production car in the world.” Seems random.
And here comes the hairy nutsack – the E63 AMG! Unveiled to clashing guitars, no less! Kick-ass! 518 horsepower, 465 lb/ft! And a staggering 12 percent improvement in fuel economy! Holy shit! Call the president – the auto crisis is over!
Chrysler, 10:00 a.m: Here comes jolly hunchback and Chrysler vice chairman Jim Press. He’s driving out in a Fiat 500! That’s like half a step away from out-and-out blowing Obama’s automotive taskforce!
Okay, Press has spent about five minutes talking about how wonderful a “marriage” with Fiat would be. This is fuckin’ trippy. The official spokesman of Chrysler – CHRYSLER! – is admitting his company is so screwed, they’re happily accepting a forced marriage…to FIAT. The mighty have gone subterranean.
But their first electric car will be out by 2010! Yay! Sunshine and puppies!
Finally – the new Jeep Grand Cherokee bucks onto the stage. It bounced up the steps on the edge of the platform. That was pretty cool.
And it’s surprisingly good looking! Seriously, wow! I’m impressed! It’s almost…sexy. (Warning: maybe NSFW, definitely emotionally scarring.)
A 146 percent increase in body stiffness over the old model, which was apparently made entirely out of duct tape.
Land Rover, 10:30 a.m.: Three models hidden under sheets, then again hidden behind giant LCD screens. And here goes another fancy countdown – ooh, numbers plunging into water! Kinda makes me have to pee.
More generic-brand rock music, another video montage…and here they are! Three all-new – wait, those cars look exactly the same as the old models.
Apparently the LR3 has now been replaced by the LR4, which looks pretty much identical. Quick note to Land Rover – if automotive journalists can’t tell it’s an all-new model, you might want to try something a little more revolutionary. Like, say, curves.
Ooh, they’re preparing a compact Range Rover “cross coupe!” I wonder if it will be anything like…
Acura, 11:00 a.m.: …the new ZDX crossover! Or four-door coupe, or sports-activity coupe, or elevated sports sedan, or whatever they’re calling this niche this week. True fact: they change the category’s name every time Glenn Beck cries.
Acura’s Jeff Conrad claims it’s “an entirely new category of luxury vehicle.” Except for the BMW X6. Or the Infiniti FX. Yeah, nice try.
Two models (the blonde on the right is hotter, just so you know) peel off the cover, to reveal…THE IRON MAN MARK 2!
Oh, no, it’s the ZDX. It’s just all burnished metallic with glowing blue concept-car headlights. Damn. I was really excited to see it fly through the roof.
Very Japanese up front – headlights like the new Mazda6. Those’ll change for production. Otherwise, looks like an Acura TL nose and MDX tail grafted onto a BMW X6. Not bad, really. But I need to see it with production lamps before rendering final judgement.
It’s for “active and adventuring individuals,” they say? That’s me! Excuse me while I take take a ten-mile jog while reading up on sub-Saharan parasites for my trip to the Congo next month.
Only a V6? Oh, right – they killed their V8 engine program. Bad move, Honda. You’re gonna need that. Or chop half a ton out of the thing if you want to fight BMW and Infiniti on their turf. (Or I guess they could turbocharge it…)
Production models – all with a panoramic glass roof! – hit dealerships this fall. Gonna have to see how it drives.
General Motors, 11:30 a.m.: “Gone, Gone, Gone,” by Robert Plant and Alison Kraus, is playing in the background as we wait for the conference to start. Someone has a black sense of humor.
Three models being shown off, two of which are already out on stage, since they’ve been around the block a few times already. Pontiac G8 GXP? Seen it. Buick Lacrosse? Does the name still mean masturbation in French-speaking Quebec? Because otherwise I don’t care.
Apparently GMC is the General’s “premium truck brand.” No, Cadillac is your premium truck brand. They sell the Escalade, the Enzyte Escalade (it’s several inches longer), the Farmer’s Escalade (it has a truck bed, so it’s clearly intended for hauling manure), and the SRX mid-size sport-ute. GMC is a neglected brand that hasn’t had a proprietary model since Obama stopped using pot.
But wait – here’s the GMC Terrain! It’s a small SUV that gets 30 mpg highway and arrives this summer! And I actually fit in back! Wow! Why isn’t it a Chevy?
Scion, 12:05 p.m.: The whole ballroom is lit up like a techno club. If Scion reps start asking us if we “roll,” I’m not sure which answer I should give.
Today’s concept, they claim, is for today’s “urban youth” who embrace “urban culture.” Not sure if they’re talking about Gossip Girl or The Wire.
“A microsubcompact car is perfect for their progressive lifestyles.” Because the smaller the car, the thicker the pot smoke inside.
And the iQ Concept lowers itself from the ceiling. It looks like a Smart car with mutated, Sideshow Bob-like feet. It’s radioactive green. Amazingly, this looks cool.
Holy shit, the name of the paint color actually is “radioactive?” I thought of that in half a second. Maybe I should go into PR instead.
And it comes with a 10″ LCD screen inside that folds into the console and projects rave lighting when turned off. Does this seem, in any way shape or form, like a good idea?
Wow, up close, this thing has a serious wide stance. Like, a Senator Larry Craig wide stance.
Volkswagen, 12:40 p.m.: Stefan Jacoby, President of VW of America, says they don’t expect to match the gains they made in 2008. Dude, we came here to dream about shiny new cars, not get gut-punched. Why not tell us the Easter Bunny isn’t real, too?
The covers come off the new Golf and GTI – and they’re not very different. Except the Rabbit is now the Golf again.
The design director’s been talking about the car’s styling for five minutes. Fuck it – I’m going to lunch.
Lunch, 1:05 p.m.: Well, at least it’s free.
BMW, 2:00 p.m.: Seven new Bimmer models go on sale this year, and eight in 2010. How many ways can you split a Bavarian creme pie?
Ahh, the world premiere of the BMW X6M. 555 horsepower and 500 pound-feet of delicious absurdity. 0 to 60 in 4.5 seconds? Man, I can’t wait until they strap this engine into the next-generation M5.
But because cosmic scales must be balanced, BMW’s karma is evened out by introducing the X6 Active Hybrid for later this year. Any Buddhists at BMW these days?
Apparently 63 percent of power for their Spartanburg, S.C. plant comes from sucking methane out of a nearby landfill. The other 37 percent comes from harvesting methane farted out by the employees.
Wandering about, 2:20 p.m.: Props to Porsche and Land Rover/Jaguar for rocking the lounge setup – each one has leather couches, munchies and beverages. But LR/Jag with the win for the open bar and hors d’oeuvres. The Germans only have Coke and communal M&M bowls.
Bentley, 2:30 p.m.: Hip, James Bond-ish music blares from suspended speakers – surprisingly hip for someone proudly portraying the symbols of HM The Queen and HRH The Prince Of Wales on the wall.
Today’s launch is “one of the most important cars in our history,” they say? Well, unless you’re hiding a surprise plug-in diesel hybrid – oh, no, it’s just the Supersports you showed at Geneva. I mean, biofuel capability is nice, but is a slightly faster, sportier Continental GT really THAT important just because it runs on moonshine? I mean, outside of Brazil.
But kudos to the Bentley spokesman for going old-school and forgoing the teleprompter for a paper copy of his sheet. Well done, old chap.
Porsche, 2:55 p.m.: Porsche unveils the newest version of the 911 GT3. That’s all. It’s light, it’s fast, it makes more power than any naturally aspirated six-cylinder does. I want one.